Is Overdelivering Overcompensating Because You Are Scared?

“Is overdelivering actually just overcompensating because you’re scared?”

That thought struck me because sometimes the urge to give more and more isn’t just generosity, it’s fear. Fear of not being enough, fear of disappointing clients, fear of rejection.

In this episode, I’m unpacking the tension between generosity and overcompensation. I’m sharing how I’ve learned to find the sweet spot where giving feels joyful, not draining and why believing your work and presence are enough might be the most generous gift of all.

What’s in this episode:

[00:35] Why overdelivering isn’t always generosity
[01:45] How fear sneaks in and moves the bar higher and higher
[03:00] What clients actually want (hint: not hundreds of images)
[04:15] The endless loop of overdelivering and exhaustion
[05:45] Experiments with setting limits and boundaries
[07:20] Learning to sit with “enough” and trust your art
[08:00] Why generosity rooted in fear isn’t generosity at all

If you’ve ever felt caught in the loop of ‘more, more, more,’ this episode is a reminder that your art, your presence, and your energy are already enough

Did this episode give you the encouragement you need to reframe the way you think about overdelivering? Check out this episode The Luxury Fine Art Studio with Joanna Booth from Sanguine Portraiture

Transcript

[00:00:00] Hello my friend. Today I wanna talk about something that has really been on my mind a lot lately, and this might not be the same for you, but this is what I do on the show. I talk about my messy things that I’m walking through, the messy parts that really don’t feel that good to admit. So the other day I heard something that honestly sort of felt like a gut punch.

The idea was, is overdelivering actually just overcompensating because you’re scared? [00:01:00] And for me, I knew that there was truth in that it stung because I recognized myself in it. I’ve always told myself that I overdeliver because I love being generous. Now, this might not be the same for you, but I really wanna share it anyways because.

Really, that’s what I do on this show. I love giving more time, more images, more edits. I love seeing people light up when they get more than they expected, but when I peel back the layers, I can see sometimes my generosity isn’t only generosity, it’s fear. It’s fear that I won’t be enough. It’s fear that they won’t think I’m worth it.

It’s fear that if I don’t do more, they’ll be disappointed. And that realization has really made me pause and start asking myself, where’s the line where it was that sweet spot where I can be generous without [00:02:00] draining myself dry? Because I’ve noticed how over-delivering eats away at my life, it keeps me behind my computer.

Overshooting sessions. So I’m culling through way too many images. I’m reediting files again and again, and suddenly the business that I do love, the work that lights me up starts to feel heavy, and I’ve literally wasted hours of my life away just because I was scared. Someone might think I’m not enough.

So the truth is most of the time my clients are not asking for more. In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever had a client ask for more. They aren’t sitting there thinking, I wish you would given me twice as many images. They’re not analyzing my work like I am. They’re looking for connection or love or the memories.

They just want to see their baby’s tiny toes or how their [00:03:00] little family holds each other. And they don’t need a hundred images to feel that they need 20 or 30. That really just tell their story beautifully. But fear has a sneaky way of creeping in whispers. If you don’t do more, they won’t come back. They’ll regret booking you. They’ll complain. They’ll tell their friends, you weren’t worth it. And so if I overshoot, I overspend my energy, then I over edit, and then I’m left exhausted and then quietly resentful of the things I love to do.

And the problem with fear is it’s never satisfied. I can overdeliver by double, even triple, and it will still tell me that it’s not enough. Fear really is an endless loop. It keeps moving the bar higher and higher, and you can’t win with that. honestly, I’ve been trying to find that sweet spot, that space where I still get to feel generous because that is genuinely who I am, [00:04:00] but I don’t cross into that territory of self-sacrifice because generosity should feel good, it should feel aligned, and it should feel like giving from a full place, not like giving, because I’m scared I’ll be rejected, and that’s been an uncomfortable shift.

Because I’ve had to start asking myself questions like, if I cut down this gallery, am I okay with that? If I deliver fewer images, do I still believe I’m enough? If I don’t spend hours tweaking something in Photoshop that the client will never notice, do I still feel like I’m giving them my best? What I’ve discovered is that the discomfort is all mine. My clients are not noticing. They’re happy, they’re thrilled. It’s me who feels uncomfortable when I pull back. It’s me who has to learn to sit with enough. It’s me who has to unlearn this belief that my value comes from constantly giving more than asked for.

And maybe you can relate too. [00:05:00] Maybe you’ve told yourself that overdelivering is your style. It’s your signature, but deep down it might be fear that’s just dressed up as generosity. And I wanna be really clear. I’m not saying we should stop being generous. Generosity is beautiful, and it’s one of the things that makes client experiences magical.

But there’s a difference between giving because it lights you up and giving because you’re scared. One comes from abundance and the other comes from scarcity. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna live my life rooted in scarcity anymore. I don’t wanna trade my energy, my time, my family moments, my creativity.

All in service of a fear, that’ll never be enough. So here’s what I’ve been experimenting with. I started putting limits in place. I’m setting boundaries around how many images I deliver. I’m giving myself permission to stop editing once the gallery feels beautiful. even if I could spend more time nitpicking, I’m [00:06:00] walking away from the computer reminding myself that my time is worth something too.

And you know what? Giving a few less, nothing bad has happened. My clients are still happy. They’re still thrilled. Instead of giving 125 images, I’m giving 50. If anything, they’re happier because I show up to the sessions more present and more creative, and more energized, and I’m happier because I’m not drowning in this constant cycle of doing more, more, more, more, more.

So maybe the real challenge isn’t about how much we give. Maybe it’s our ability just to sit with it to believe that our best really is enough to trust that our art and our time and our vision is enough that we don’t have to pad it with extras to be valuable. And I’ll be honest with you, I am really still learning this.

I’m still catching myself slipping into old habit. Sometimes when a client’s had maybe their fourth baby [00:07:00] with me, I’m overdelivering way more images than necessary still, I’m staying up late sometimes, but I’m also getting better at catching it. I’m starting to pause and ask, am I doing this because it feels good or because I’m scared?

Am I giving from love or am I giving from fear? And that’s the question I wanna leave with you today because maybe for you over-delivering isn’t about fear at all. Maybe it’s really just about joy and that’s beautiful. But if you’re like me and you notice yourself running on empty and resentful and just quietly panicking behind the scenes, then it might be time to peel back your own layers and maybe see what’s underneath.

Because generosity that costs us our health, our time, and our joy. That’s not really generosity at all.

That’s just fear running the show. And we deserve better than that. Our families deserve better than that. Our clients deserve our best, so let’s keep finding that sweet spot [00:08:00] together. Let’s keeping generous, but not at the expense of our own lives, and let’s act as believing that enough really is enough.

And let’s remember that the people who love our work, the clients who truly value what we do, aren’t here because we give them too much. They’re here because of who we are, the art we make and the way we make them feel. And that without all the extras is already more than enough. I am sending you so much of my light and love my friend.

We’ll see you next time.