We all have that thing, perhaps we’ll call it a dumpster fire. This fire is something that we know we should take care of, put to rest, deal with, etc, but we just… don’t.

Maybe we’re scared or it just feels too big, but whatever the reason, this fire haunts us, saps our energy, and distracts us from the work that we could be doing. 

So in this episode, I’m sharing four steps we can take to identify and address our dumpster fires, and avoid this kind of self-sabotage in the future! Let’s dive in!

What’s in this episode:

• [01:08] How little problems that we ignore instead of fix sap our energy over time
• [02:49] How to identify where we’re losing time and energy
• [05:20] My own story of facing the “dumpster fire” and taking back my time and energy
• [08:20] How to identify self-sabotage and then do something about it

Tune in to this episode for a little pep talk on how to confront our problems head on and avoid self-sabotage!

SUBSCRIBE: Apple Podcasts | Spotify

---

Did this episode help you rethink how you self-sabotage (and how you can avoid falling into those traps in the future)? Check out this episode Giving Up the Ghost: Releasing the Stories Holding You Back in Your Photography Business.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker: Hey friend, welcome to the Art and Soul Show. I’m your host Lisa DiGeso, a mom, a photographer, and entrepreneur. Tune in here for pep talks, conversations, and advice on photography, creativity, mindset, business, life, and that messy in between. This is the place where you can go when you need a boost of encouragement, a kick in the pants, and inspiration to pick up your camera.

[00:00:24] This is the Art and Soul Show. Hello, my beautiful friend. Welcome back to the show. So today’s episode is called What’s Tripping You Up? Because let’s be real. We all hit roadblocks. Those times we feel stuck, stagnant, or maybe just floundering. Now, more often than not, it’s not those big, obvious things that are holding us back.

[00:00:47] It’s those small, small things. Subtle habits or thought patterns. We don’t even notice that we’re doing until we’re knee deep in frustration. So today I really want to get real with you and talk about those sneaky ways we sabotage our [00:01:00] own progress. Now I was inspired by Kristen Kelp. She had an email that landed in my inbox probably about a year ago, and it really resonated with me.

[00:01:08] So today I thought I would share some of the concepts that she shared on the show today. So it really focused on where we’re losing our time, our money, and our energy. And she talks about the things that really quietly burn in the background, kind of like a dumpster fire, we hope will go away on its own.

[00:01:25] Because of course they never do. And that nagging feeling of something not being right just seems to really overtake us. So So the question number one that I really want you to ponder is, where are you routinely losing time, money, and energy? Now this is a question that often brings up an immediate answer, but we’re so used to ignoring it that sometimes we might just push it aside.

[00:01:47] Now think about your business for a second. Where is it in there that you’re feeling drained? Is it those endless back and forth emails you have with clients? Is it constantly having to reschedule shoots? Or maybe [00:02:00] you’re just spending way too long editing a session because you’re kind of stuck in that perfectionism loop.

[00:02:05] Now let’s break it down a little bit. I remember a time when I was really. Overwhelmed by endless client emails. And I really found myself spending hours trying to craft the perfect responses. I sort of would just agonize over every word I would overthink it. But here’s the kicker. Most of the time, those emails didn’t even require that level of detail.

[00:02:26] I really was wasting that precious time on perfecting. So. Instead, when I automated my client onboarding, I created PDFs that included all of those FAQs and it really sped up my business workflow. So I was less bogged down, just going back and forth, just responding to all these emails. Now, for some of us, it might be tweaking a website that’s already fully functional, or maybe it’s doing tasks that don’t actually move the needle forward.

[00:02:49] So I want you to ask yourself, where am I routinely losing time, money, or energy? And here’s the tough part. What can you do to actually stop that leak? [00:03:00] Sometimes it’s implementing new systems, it’s hiring help, maybe it’s hiring an editor, or maybe it’s just letting go of things that really aren’t as critical as you’re making them out to be.

[00:03:11] Now I really encourage you to just take a moment and look at your daily or your weekly routines and are there tasks you are dreading that you could probably delegate or even eliminate altogether. Maybe you’re trying to get more active on social media and show up, but instead of posting anything, you just get scared and you post nothing at all.

[00:03:31] I’m pointing at myself here too. Perfectionism is one of the biggest culprits here, and it tricks you into thinking you’re improving when you’re actually just spinning your wheels doing nothing. So, remember my friend. As I’ve said before in previous episodes, perfect does not exist and it’s really best to just try to move forward a little bit with all those flaws instead of staying stuck.

[00:03:52] So question number two is what is a dumpster fire that you hope will quietly go away on its own? Now we all [00:04:00] have one. That’s just part of our businesses and our life. There’s always some sort of low key fire in the background, and we’re just crossing our fingers, hoping that it will magically just resolve itself.

[00:04:10] Maybe it’s a mountain of unedited sessions you’ve been avoiding, or maybe it’s the state of the financial side of your business that feels messy, and you haven’t gotten around to cleaning it up yet. So the more you really avoid these dumpster fires, the bigger they’re going to get. It’s like having a small leak in your roof and eventually it’s going to rain inside.

[00:04:30] Well, fun fact, actually, that did happen to me last year. We had a roof leak and it was awful. And it didn’t go away on its own. We had to take care of it. So my friend, what is quietly on fire in your business or right now? Maybe it’s not even quiet. Maybe it’s a loud fire. Is there a system maybe you’ve been meaning to set up, maybe a CRM, or maybe it’s actually pulling back the curtain and really getting real about your business numbers.

[00:04:54] Maybe it’s looking at your profitability or even the length of time you’re spending editing each session. [00:05:00] Here’s the challenge. Confront it. Today, make a plan to address it, even if it’s just taking one small step in the right direction. Maybe it’s setting aside an hour to edit the backlog of photos, or even making a list of all your monthly expenses.

[00:05:14] The faster you tackle these fires, the sooner you can move on feeling with ease and peace of mind and stop having that mental energy burning in the background. Now, I want to share a personal story about a time I faced one of my dumpster fires and my personal dumpster fire was the inability to say no.

[00:05:31] I would literally say yes to every single session. And then I’d end up with this mountain of editing. And even with an editor, I was still get bogged down. And the problem was not only was I undercharging, I was over committing and I was over delivering. Then after years of feeling like I was on this hamster wheel, my brain literally hit the wall and my body actually started to give out.

[00:05:54] I was chronically exhausted. I wasn’t able to give my family a hundred percent. I couldn’t give my [00:06:00] clients the exceptional work I knew I was capable of, and I just felt stuck. But I also wouldn’t acknowledge that I was the cause of my own downfall. Simply by always saying yes to everything, I I was saying no to me and I was saying no to the life that I wanted.

[00:06:15] So once I finally acknowledged the situation that I’d sort of put myself into, I figured out how to press pause on my business. And it wasn’t easy. Once I was able to press pause, I was able to sort of analyze where I was with everything. And I was able to start putting out that dumpster fire I’d created, but it really wasn’t until I got honest with myself about the truth, That was happening in my business.

[00:06:38] Now, the next question is number three, where are you currently censoring yourself or sabotaging yourself? So ask yourself this question and really think about the answer. If you weren’t censoring or sabotaging yourself, what would you do? What risks would you take? What would you create if fear wasn’t holding you back?

[00:06:59] Because so [00:07:00] often we’re the ones that are standing in our way, whether it’s maybe a fear of failure. Maybe judgment, or just simply the stories we’ve been telling ourselves for years. We end up censoring our own potential. But if you weren’t holding yourself back, and if you let yourself move boldly, what would that look like for you?

[00:07:20] Now this is one I really struggled with for years. In fact, I still do. It’s how I show up online. Who I am. What version of me do I want the world to see? Because by nature, I am pretty reserved, and I’m pretty self conscious introvert. So for the first few years of creating an online presence to me, it really felt foreign.

[00:07:39] It felt like I was wearing someone else’s shoes, like I had a mask on and I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. And I just, I got used to showing up online and creating content. I started to react lax a little bit, and I started to show up as me. And I started to let you, my lovely listeners in, and it became a lot easier for me just to be myself.

[00:07:59] Now, for [00:08:00] me, the biggest compliment I get is when I meet a listener or a follower in real life and they say, you are exactly how you are online. But that’s not to say I let it all hang out too. It’s okay not to share every aspect of your life online. The beauty. The beauty. That lies in authenticity is the fact that you don’t have to share every detail of your life.

[00:08:20] Instead, it’s about being honest in what you do share. Now let’s look a little bit at where you might be sabotaging yourself. Maybe if you stop censoring or sabotaging yourself, you’d maybe finally raise your prices because deep down, you know, that your time is worth more and you need to earn more. Maybe you’d launch a passion project that you’ve been daydreaming about, or do a model call for that style shoot that’s been in your head for ages.

[00:08:44] Or maybe. You’d put yourself out there more, even if it meant risking rejection. Now I had a moment like this recently, I’ve been sitting on an idea for a new workshop for ages and the fear of it flopping has really held me back. But [00:09:00] after some soul searching, we decided to take the leap, I put it out into the world and you know what?

[00:09:04] It resonated with so many people. The truth is, the things we don’t do out of fear or self sabotage are often the very things that could lead us to our biggest growth. And here’s the key. Just start small. You don’t have to leap all at once. But take one step forward to that thing you’ve been censoring or holding yourself back on.

[00:09:24] And give yourself permission to try, and permission to fail, and permission to grow. And number four is overwhelm. Overwhelm is the silent saboteur. Now let’s talk about overwhelm because this is a huge one for so many of us, especially if you’re running a creative business, you’re raising a family and you’re just trying to find time for yourself in between it all.

[00:09:46] We really can get so caught up in the whirlwind of all the tasks that we have to do that we can become paralyzed instead of focusing on what a few things, the things that matter. We sort of spin around trying to do everything all at once. [00:10:00] So the first step in really tackling overwhelm is really to recognize when it’s starting to creep in.

[00:10:05] Okay. Are you starting to feel irritable? Are you finding it hard to concentrate? That’s kind of a cue to pause and start to assess. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a breath and break it down. What’s that one thing you can focus on right now and what’s the next step you can take? Sometimes it’s about simplifying our to do lists instead of trying to conquer the entire mountain.

[00:10:27] Think of it as sort of small little hills. What’s the next little hill you can climb? Because by tackling one task at a time, you’ll start to regain your sense of control. And remember, asking for help is the most powerful thing you can do. Delegating, hiring out tasks that don’t light you up, and leaning on your support system.

[00:10:46] I have learned this the hard way that Overwhelm really leads to burnout. And I remember when I tried to do everything myself, it was too much. So eventually I realized that I did need to invest in some help. So whether it’s hiring an editor or getting a virtual [00:11:00] assistant, letting go of some of those responsibilities and putting way less on your plate will help you free up your creative energy.

[00:11:09] Now, number five comparison, my friend comparison is the thief of joy. Oh, that good old stroll through social media. We all love to do it, but. You see all these other photographers and creators and entrepreneurs and they’re showing you that beautiful work. They’re killing it. They’re book and dream clients.

[00:11:29] They’re hitting new heights. They are creating work you would dream to create. And it can often leave us feeling like we’re not enough. And we all know this comparison game is toxic, but it is really hard to stop playing sometimes. So here’s a little reminder. If you’re comparing your behind the scene with someone else’s highlight reel, you don’t see their struggles, the late nights or the train wrecks, the unhappy clients.

[00:11:52] You don’t see any of that. So let’s get real about that. When you find yourself scrolling through social media. And feeling those pangs of jealousy [00:12:00] or envy, just take a step back, ask yourself why you’re feeling that way. Are you measuring your worth against someone else’s success? Are you comparing your raw files to their finished product?

[00:12:14] Are you failing to acknowledge your own achievements? Now the only comparison truly that really matters is between you and you. Are you growing? Are you learning? Are you becoming better at what you do? Because we need to focus on our own journey because really it’s the only one that’s real. So instead of comparing yourself to others, try to celebrate their successes.

[00:12:36] Can you find inspiration in their work without letting it dim your light? It’s about shifting that mindset from envy to encouragement. So the next time you really start to feel stuck, start getting curious and start asking yourself these big questions. What are you routinely losing time, money, and energy into?

[00:12:55] Number two, what is your dumpster fire that you quietly hope will go away on its [00:13:00] own? And number three, where are you currently censoring yourself, or sabotaging yourself, or just holding yourself back? These will really help you start to unpack those shifts you need to make in order to create a business and life you truly love.

[00:13:14] Thank you so much for tuning in today, my friend. I am sending you so much of my light and my love today and every single day. We’ll see you next time.